Well then... I realise most of my articles focus on fantastic experiences in Australia and beyond, but I've also wanted to leverage this space to discuss what I've discovered about myself during my time abroad. One of the most striking realisations: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE HOW TO MAKE MATES!!
In all honesty, as an adult it's tough to make friends. You're no longer in a classroom surrounded by classmates or involved in various extracurricular pursuits. When I first arrived here I thought to myself, "I know several people so making friends should be straightforward". Here's where it gets tricky: most of my acquaintances were temporary connections rather than genuine close friends I'd known for years. Yes, there's the occasional catch-up but compared to that solid crew of mates I had back home, it just feels different.
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| Nobody warned you existence would turn out this way (clap, clap, clap, clap) |
My job is quite solitary by nature. I spend virtually all my time in one-on-one sessions with children under 8 years old (and yes, my oldest mate still has that nose-picking habit). Unlike most people, I can't really develop workplace friendships—it's simply not feasible for my role. On top of that, I struggle with severe social anxiety. If you haven't met me before, I come across as extremely reserved. I tend to stay quiet unless I'm already at ease with someone else in the group, but once that comfort kicks in, there's no stopping me from chatting away! So the real question is....What's the best way to build friendships as you get older?
Move Past Your Fear of Being Rejected
Like most things, you'll occasionally struggle to make friends. I'm not suggesting that every outing results in new adversaries and eventual isolation that transforms you into a villain plotting Gotham's destruction. Some people simply won't be your cup of tea. That's normal. So be courageous! Approach someone fearlessly and say, "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number so call me because I'm new in town and we should definitely hang out together and become best friends!" The worst response is no, and they'll have Call Me Maybe stuck in their head all evening. Which brings me to my next thought...
Invest Energy in Your Social Connections
Have you ever found yourself in the early stages of a budding romance, only to watch it gradually lose momentum? Could it have been because both people weren't investing sufficient energy into it? Your friendships operate much the same way. Cultivating friendships requires you to consistently make an effort and put yourself in social situations. A single meeting rarely blossoms into a lifelong best friend or soulmate you couldn't imagine living without. Like romantic relationships—frankly, like absolutely everything in life—new friendships require nurturing. You need to be willing to open up, be vulnerable, and naturally, you have to BE YOURSELF! Persist with it and over time, friendships will flourish.
Pastimes, Pursuits, & Beyond
What's a better way to make friends than connecting with people who share your passions? Are you passionate about hiking? Dancing like you're Queen-B herself? Or perhaps underwater basket weaving? Odds are, you'll find others in your city with the same hobbies! Shared interests are an excellent way to meet like-minded people. Be bold! Enrol in that wine and painting class, join a book club, sign up for a walking group, or try whatever else appeals to you!
Meetup.com
Quite a number of platforms enable you to build friendships. Throughout Melbourne, I've discovered this one stood out. Initially, I felt genuinely uncertain about signing up to this platform. I swear everyone warns you about the dangers lurking online and why you shouldn't venture out by yourself...and so forth. Yet when you're living by yourself in an unfamiliar place, you essentially need to venture out by yourself. I decided to give this platform a shot when I first relocated to San Diego. Following several weeks of persuading myself to attend an event, I actually had a fantastic time! When I relocated to Melbourne, I felt considerably more willing to explore some communities. You're able to join communities centred around your interests. It's marvellous! And once you've attended once, you quickly realise that plenty of other people find themselves in an identical situation!
The Journey of Friendship
Not every friendship is formed equally, some friendships end, and not all friendships remain steady. Unfortunately, that's simply how life works. Recognise that this pattern occurs and ideally, you won't be so hard on yourself. The silver lining of this pattern: it allows you to encounter lots of new people and broaden your perspective.
The most important thing I've learnt is that you truly must PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE! It's daunting and somewhat frightening particularly when you're in a place where you don't know anyone at all. But here's the thing—you're not by yourself! The more I've stepped up, conquered my anxieties and tried to forge connections, the more I've started to truly value and love the brilliant place I call home! So here's to forming friendships in an unfamiliar location or meeting new friends across the globe! And until we speak again...
Move Past Your Fear of Being Rejected
Like most things, you'll occasionally struggle to make friends. I'm not suggesting that every outing results in new adversaries and eventual isolation that transforms you into a villain plotting Gotham's destruction. Some people simply won't be your cup of tea. That's normal. So be courageous! Approach someone fearlessly and say, "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number so call me because I'm new in town and we should definitely hang out together and become best friends!" The worst response is no, and they'll have Call Me Maybe stuck in their head all evening. Which brings me to my next thought...
Invest Energy in Your Social Connections
Have you ever found yourself in the early stages of a budding romance, only to watch it gradually lose momentum? Could it have been because both people weren't investing sufficient energy into it? Your friendships operate much the same way. Cultivating friendships requires you to consistently make an effort and put yourself in social situations. A single meeting rarely blossoms into a lifelong best friend or soulmate you couldn't imagine living without. Like romantic relationships—frankly, like absolutely everything in life—new friendships require nurturing. You need to be willing to open up, be vulnerable, and naturally, you have to BE YOURSELF! Persist with it and over time, friendships will flourish.
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| You've nailed it, Bill |
Pastimes, Pursuits, & Beyond
What's a better way to make friends than connecting with people who share your passions? Are you passionate about hiking? Dancing like you're Queen-B herself? Or perhaps underwater basket weaving? Odds are, you'll find others in your city with the same hobbies! Shared interests are an excellent way to meet like-minded people. Be bold! Enrol in that wine and painting class, join a book club, sign up for a walking group, or try whatever else appeals to you!
Meetup.com
Quite a number of platforms enable you to build friendships. Throughout Melbourne, I've discovered this one stood out. Initially, I felt genuinely uncertain about signing up to this platform. I swear everyone warns you about the dangers lurking online and why you shouldn't venture out by yourself...and so forth. Yet when you're living by yourself in an unfamiliar place, you essentially need to venture out by yourself. I decided to give this platform a shot when I first relocated to San Diego. Following several weeks of persuading myself to attend an event, I actually had a fantastic time! When I relocated to Melbourne, I felt considerably more willing to explore some communities. You're able to join communities centred around your interests. It's marvellous! And once you've attended once, you quickly realise that plenty of other people find themselves in an identical situation!
The Journey of Friendship
Not every friendship is formed equally, some friendships end, and not all friendships remain steady. Unfortunately, that's simply how life works. Recognise that this pattern occurs and ideally, you won't be so hard on yourself. The silver lining of this pattern: it allows you to encounter lots of new people and broaden your perspective.
The most important thing I've learnt is that you truly must PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE! It's daunting and somewhat frightening particularly when you're in a place where you don't know anyone at all. But here's the thing—you're not by yourself! The more I've stepped up, conquered my anxieties and tried to forge connections, the more I've started to truly value and love the brilliant place I call home! So here's to forming friendships in an unfamiliar location or meeting new friends across the globe! And until we speak again...
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| A massive hello to every mate I know back where I'm from! |
Keep Wondering!
