My relatives have the variant that impacts just 0.01% of migraine patients—familial hemiplegic migraines. Familial hemiplegic migraines (FMH) are an inherited neurological condition with a 50% likelihood of passing the genetic variation to your children. Characteristics of this particular form of migraine involve:
- Loss of feeling on one side of the body.
- Severe headache on one side of your head. The numbness and discomfort I experience both affect my right side. I notice the headache in my head whilst the numbness occurs in my face, neck, and arm.
- Tingling sensation. Although my right leg and side don't become numb, I do get tingling feelings that make movement extremely challenging.
- Visual disturbances or unclear vision.
- Unclear or garbled speech.
- Queasiness and being sick
- Heightened sensitivity to bright light, odours, and noise
- Cognitive lag
- Disorientation
- Trouble recalling words or putting thoughts into words
- Should I reiterate the pain? An absolute lot of it?
Have you ever thought about how you might support a friend or family member dealing with migraines? Below are some suggestions for being a caring presence in their journey:
1. Don't Minimise Their Suffering
Many people hear the term migraine and say 'I get headaches too'. Look, a migraine is to a headache what Godzilla is to a lizard. They're in completely different leagues. As I'm composing this article, every time I type migraine, Grammarly wants to change it to 'headache'. They're simply not the same thing. Diminishing the condition only makes managing it harder!
When someone close to you mentions they're suffering from a migraine, avoid minimising their discomfort. Saying "headaches are terrible" can leave them feeling alone and judged.
2. Try to Understand Their Triggers
Particular scents or foods, alcohol, tension, sensory input and weather shifts may prompt migraines. Identifying what prompts migraines for your loved ones helps you support them better. If it's strong fragrances, refrain from using them for several days. Don't offer foods that trigger them when they're ill. Such thoughtful gestures demonstrate genuine care.
3. Offer Your Assistance
In some cases, migraines can be so intense that vision becomes impaired. This makes it challenging to access medical care. Consider offering to drive them to medical appointments or help obtain any prescribed medications. Preparing meals can also become difficult during these episodes, so providing a home-cooked meal is typically very welcome.
4. Minimise Noise and Extinguish the Lights
Minimising sound and extinguishing lights represents the easiest approach to supporting someone experiencing a migraine. Light and noise sensitivity can occasionally present difficult challenges when seeking even minor relief. For certain individuals, even the sound of their own breathing can be unbearable, triggering not just discomfort but also queasiness and retching. Ensuring they're positioned in a calm, darkened environment can facilitate their recovery.
5. If They Need to Cancel Plans, Just Say "No Worries"
It's genuinely awful when plans need cancelling at short notice. It's considerably worse when loved ones lack compassion and push you to attend anyway, minimising your suffering. Don't become that mate or family member. If your loved one needs to reschedule, simply respond no worries and arrange a fresh time once they've recovered. Add a touch of #3 whilst you're at it.
6. Cover for Them
Among the most helpful actions you could take is providing assistance with their responsibilities. This might involve reducing their workload temporarily, exchanging shifts to allow them recovery time, or assisting them in securing someone to cover their shift. You could even offer to contact their workplace for them. Occasionally migraines become so severe that sufferers cannot communicate.
7. Respect Their Food and Drink Preferences
This doesn't mean you should avoid foods you enjoy in their company. Instead, refrain from urging them to "have a taste" or "just one drink". Particular foods and beverages, even in modest amounts, can trigger extended suffering. When they're poorly, check which food odours bother them and suggest something they'd find palatable.
8. Tidy Up
Household tasks drop to the bottom of the list when someone has a migraine. Often the anxiety of seeing your home untidy is sufficient to spark another episode. Assist with tidying the house. Offer to run a load of washing or clean the dishes. You needn't undertake a complete deep clean to demonstrate you're concerned.
9. Do Not Offer Advice
If I had a dollar for every occasion someone remarked, "my (insert random person) attempted (insert random information they discovered online), and it worked brilliantly. Have you given it a go?" I'd possibly be as wealthy as the Royal Family. I realise the counsel originates from good intentions, but unless you possess expertise in cutting-edge revolutionary research, odds are I've already tested what you're about to recommend. Much like when Ann was expecting on Parks & Rec, and Chris was being overattentive, all you need to express is "that's rough" or "what can I do to help"?
10. Stay Connected
We might lose contact for a while. This doesn't signal that we care about you any less or that we're not keen to catch up. Migraine brain and the post-migraine exhaustion can frequently make it really tough to retain much of anything. A brief message would be lovely. It helps us feel somewhat less alone and not so guilty about having to cancel plans.
11. Research Migraine Art
There's a wealth of VR simulators and migraine artworks that showcase what someone with migraines might be going through. I'd strongly encourage exploring these. It can provide a firsthand perspective on how migraines affect people.
Migraines can leave you feeling profoundly isolated. Yet with a caring, compassionate support network, you needn't feel quite so alone. Do you experience migraines and want your support network to recognise something specific? Haven't dealt with migraines and wish to learn more? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Until we speak again...
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